Why exactly is motor insurance so expensive? That’s what the people supposed to be running this country have finally got round to asking. And now they’re getting some answers – lots of different answers – from people who should know. People like Aviva and Zurich, the Road Haulage Association, and er… Confused.com.

Since Bankstone News got its filthy paws on the written evidence submitted to the House of Commons Transport Committee’s inquiry into why motor insurance is so bleedin’ expensive, we’ve hardly been able to put it down.

We’re planning to report back at greater length on the fragrant diversity of views offered up within this extraordinarily creative composite work in next week’s issue. Suffice for now to say: it’s doozy from cover to cover.

Proceedings get off to a rollicking start with Martin Prosser whose “personnel submission of evidence” makes no attempt to explain why motor insurance is so expensive but suggests that all would be well if people paid quarterly instead of annually, insisting that “grater use” of (smaller) upfront payments would “reduce the cost and risks taken by the insurance industry currently in providing flexible payment terms.”

Zurich’s Tony Emms is quoted conjuring up a memorable image with the assertion that there “are too snouts in the trough making a profit out of accident, which has dramatically increased claims cost.” Whether he means that there are two snouts or too many snouts is a little unclear, but, either way, Tony reckons the solution to snouts is transparency.

In a similar vein, we have Allianz’s Graham Gibson proclaiming “I, amongst others, have in the past called referral fees the “guerilla in the room that nobody wants to talk about”. Count Bankstone News in as one of those others: “Who’s that beardy guy in the corner in the combat fatigues and beret?” ”Shhh. Just ignore him, dear, and perhaps he’ll go away!”

Trust us – it’s a veritable treasure trove of priceless insights like this. Be sure to check back next week for an in depth dissection of the whole glorious festival of buck-passing, special pleading and fatuous self-aggrandizement.

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