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In Continental Tyres’ book, UK motorists are bitter, twisted, and mean-spirited to (at least the Mth and quite possibly) the Nth degree.

Resentful, envious, prejudiced, and begrudging Brits routinely withhold even the commonest of courtesies from – and indeed aggressively target – other road users whose vehicles they don’t like the look of.

Pet hate for chippy UK motorists, according to Continental Types, are people whose cars look superior to their own. Those adjudged to have ‘flash’ cars (and therefore presumably to “think they are it”) should not expect to be allowed out at junctions, permitted to pass, or otherwise in any way given way to in any way shape or form.

In a land where many care more about their cars than about their homes, their friends, or their families, Britons are quick, it seems, to judge – and quick to take offence and/or umbrage.

Damning new research from Continental Tiles found that almost half of UK drivers admitted to behaving more aggressively towards other road users based on vehicle-inspired prejudices.

They might not like their colour, their make, or place of origin. Many hate cars that are ‘dirty’. Many hate four-wheel drives or so-called “sports” cars. Many hate those hateful little boxes driven by scum like learners, librarians and pensioners. White van drivers (always easy to spot), taxi drivers, school run mums: all attract the enmity of other motorists.

Continental spokesman Mark Griffiths professed himself ‘alarmed’ that “34 per cent of drivers will change their driving style based on a prejudice about something as unimportant as how clean a vehicle is.” Unimportant? He won’t make friends among car-proud Brits with talk like that!

Rather than cutting up a hybrid or electric vehicle just because their owners are likely to be ‘tree-huggers’ or ‘self-righteous’, Mark G argues, “We think road users must be courteous to others at all times.”

Here now is Bankstone News’ handy guide to things about your car that will get you targeted by other drivers:

Performance car
‘Flash’ car
4×4
Car with caravan attached
Hybrid or electric car
Taxi
Bus
Van
Fiat Panda or equivalent
Car with L plates
Car with wrong bumper sticker (e.g. rival football club/religion etc).

Continental’s research did also find that drivers behave in a courteous and considerate way towards people driving the same car as them.

So, if you want to stay out of trouble, the best bet is to drive exactly the same car as everybody else, in the same colour, the same state of cleanliness, and without any form of modification, adornment or embellishment that might mark it/you out a ‘other’, ‘abnormal’, ‘weird’, ‘foreign’, or as someone who “thinks they’re better than us”.