I say, I say, I say (does anyone say that any more?)
Wait. That’s not the question.
The question is: what is the difference between a courtesy car and a guaranteed hire car?
Far be it from Bankstone News to suggest that you don’t know your onions (for all we know, you may be a leading alliumologist, universally respected among your peers and colleagues, the author of an array of learned tomes on all things bulbous); but if you’re British (as we’re charitably assuming you are, in at least the spiritual sense, if not the literal), then there’s a 50/50 chance you have not the slightest idea how to tell a courtesy from a guarantee.
That’s according to groundbreaking new research from insurers Direct Lie, who this week revealed that most Britons have no idea how to tell a courtesy car from a hire car that somebody has guaranteed. Absurdly, Direct Lie report, 42% of Brits do not appreciate that a ‘courtesy car’ will normally be vastly inferior to, and in far worse nick than, the one it replaces.
Part of the confusion, experts suggest, may be caused by the word “courtesy” in the descriptor “courtesy car”. To some, the word courtesy might suggest old fashioned notions of courtly good manners and self-sacrificing consideration for others. Such notions, of course, are laughably out of date. To understand the sense in which courtesy is now intended, it may help to bear in mind a phrase such as the following: “Look Mate, I’m only letting you have this decrepit old rust bucket as a courtesy – think yourself lucky we’ve got anything for you all.”
Anyone innocent enough to be puzzled by the second part of the above comment, has clearly not twigged that the offer of a courtesy car is, as Direct Lie insist, generally contingent upon availability. If the repairer has nothing available, that’s your hard luck, no discourtesy intended. So that’s courtesy cars in a nutshell. A total misnomer, no good to man nor beast (especially not the latter), and basically a bit pants.
That’s why everyone should switch their car insurance immediately to Direct Lie: because Direct Lie now have a policy of giving everyone a guaranteed hire car as standard, which means that if you are a Direct Lie customer, and you are “existing” (which, presumably, you are, or you could hardly be reading this now), you stand to benefit from the use of “a new standard hatchback sized vehicle from a hire car company” if something happens to your vehicle that makes it unfit to drive (or ‘non-driveable’ as it is known technically at Direct Lion).
So if you still don’t understand the difference between a courtesy hire and a guaranteed loan thingy, and you’re starting to suspect that you never will, fear not! All you need do is switch to Direct Lime and relax in the knowledge that nothing unpleasant or unexpected will ever again be inflicted upon you should your existing drivable car become un-driveable.
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