Winter is icumen in, Lhude sing Goddamm. Raineth drop and staineth slop, And how the wind doth ramm!

Yes, it’s that time of year again. With Britain slated to experience the coldest winter since time began, it’s time to hanky down around a rawing fire, whip out your tongs and toast those cobblers. It’s the season of snowflakes, mince pies, cinnamon toads and white walkers.

There’ll be sledging, ball fights in the snow, and muckle merriment besides. But it won’t all be fun and games. Insurers Cover-Ya are warning of weather related motor mayhem up and down the land. When the climate turns cold, we’re told, motorists are up to 33.3% more likely to find themselves obliged to make a claim on their motor car insurance policies.

Cover-Ya have analised almost 150,000 claims to discover this alarming trend and are now predicting that “prolonged periods of snow and ice could lead to treacherous roads this winter.” Yikes, you’re probably thinking. Maybe I’d better stay at home. And maybe you’re right. There could be any number of reasons why that might be a good idea.

But if you do choose to venture out this winter. Bear in mind the word treacherous in the quote above. “Treacherous roads,” says Cover-Ya Road Champion Barry Street “could lead to incidents,” the kind of incidents, he cautions, that could lead in turn to motor claims. Motorists should gird all appropriate portions of their anatomy against: darkness, fog, rain, ice and snow.

But with a few simple precautions, Baz insists, it should still be possible to drive around a bit this winter and yet live to tell the tale. What you need to do is as follows:

  • Don’t try to drive off without first clearing snow and ice from your windscreen – otherwise you won’t be able to see where you are going and will probably drive into something
  • Take care of your ‘wipers’ and they will take care of you – also keep topping up a bottle with screen wash and keep a dicer in your car
  • Your tyres are the only bit of your car that touches the road – or at least they should be – so make sure you have some air in them and that they still have those little ridges on them so they’re grippy and that
  • Don’t drive so fast and stop driving so close to other cars -because it’s really difficult trying to make a car stop when the roads are icy or treacherous or whatever
  • If the weather is really horrible or if you see any skinny half-naked geezers with ice blue eyes roaming about with straggly white hair and stuff, then by no means leave the house without a nice warm ‘sweater’ and some hot soup in a thermos.

Follow these simple rules and what could possibly go wrong!

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