Your vote counts! Obviously not in general elections, where you are highly unlikely to be one of the tiny minority of people living in a constituency so finely balanced that it might actually make a jot of difference which box you tick.
So, obviously, not there, but in an exciting new ballot to select from among no fewer than three rival candidates for the position of Bankstone News’ resident motoring correspondent following the unfortunate (and hopefully temporary) disappearance of Davey Sim, last seen running amok in Eastbourne astride a Go-Go Elite Traveller 4.
Odds are you’ll be the only b*gger bothers voting and will hence be able to look back one day with pride, shame or other appropriate emotion and declare “That [insert name of successful candidate], they’d be nobody without me. I put them where they are today, and what thanks have I ever had?!”
So who have we got for you to choose between.
Candidate 1: Steve “Rooster” Cockerel, a no-nonsense hard-driving Brummie with a passion for kebabs, Aston Villa, and other lost causes.
Candidate 2: Cordelia Battington, tough-talking privately educated shopaholic, scourge of shoddy service, impertinent menials, and all things common.
Candidate 3: Dennis Ardle, dour sociopath with an implacable contempt for all things unimpressive, an extremely broad category in Dennis’ estimation.
Frankly, they all sound more or less ideal for the coveted Bankstone News Motoring Correspondent role. Any one of them would probably be fine. But, just to make things unnecessarily complicated, we are throwing the ring open to any other potential candidates who would like to launch their headgear in its general direction.
Would you like to drive some random ropey old heap around a bit every couple of months and write up your experiences? Then, simply add your name to the list and vote for yourself!
Know someone else who’d fit the bill, and about whose exposure to potentially perilous on-road situations you are broadly unconcerned? Tell us who you’re thinking of, and vote for them. It really is that simple!
The judges’ decision will be final. No correspondence will be entered into. You may only vote once (unless you assume an alias or something).
May the best person win.
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