Grins, as readers will doubtless have had the opportunity to observe for themselves, come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. There is the sheepish grin, the imbecilic grin, the undertaker’s grin, the shot-fox grin, the bitterly ironic Gallic ‘cha’ grin, the seemingly disembodied grin of Carroll’s Cheshire Cat, the falsely humble grin of Uriah Heap, the coprophagic grin of Richard Milhous Nixon, the self-satisfied grin of a cream-replete feline, and, ultimately, the joyless rictus grin of most of us sooner or later.
Precisely which species of grin British Asian TV magnate and master fraudster Mohammed Ferdhaus affected in court whilst being handed down a three year custodial sentence for money laundering and crimes against motor insurance last week remains unclear to Bankstone News. But grinning he most certainly was. It say so in the Tottenham and Wood Green Journal; so it must be true.
When not peddling a satellite-fed diet of news, community news, soap operas, musical dramas, fashion and ‘legal advice’ via Britain’s leading Bangladeshi TV station, Channel S, Ferdhaus was the evil genius behind a North London motor insurance fraud ring that netted around £2m by dint of crashing, or pretending to crash, around 120 luxury vehicles – for cash.
The group are reported to have held a succession of lively and convivial drinking parties at which expensive vehicles were deliberately rammed into one another and/or beaten about with baseball bats. But it wasn’t all good clean fun. Bizarrely, it has emerged that Ferdhaus was at one point kidnapped, suspended by his feet, partially stripped, tortured and humiliated by the ruthless gang behind a rival Bangladeshi TV channel (a sinister reminder of all the grisly horrors associated with the infamous Channel 4 – Channel 5 wars of the late 90s).
The good news for decent ordinary motor insurance policyholders is that with Ferdhaus behind bars (and, tellingly, banned from serving as a company director for a full decade) we can all sleep a little easier behind the wheel tonight.
MF (left) doing some interviewing on Channel S in happier times.
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