Passengers are a problem when it comes to road safety.
In addition to not eating, drinking, telephoning, shaving, lipsticking, object grabbing and cat juggling at the wheel, motorists should think twice before allowing other people to share their vehicles. That’s according to a press release issued this week by top Bavarian insurance house Alley Ants.
Partners are the worst
According to the latest research from the German peace-of-mind pedlars, having your significant other on board quadruples the likelihood of feeling stressed and hence crashing headlong into trees, walls, haystacks (if you’re lucky) or other road users.
If you must take your partner with you, make sure they sit up front beside you and keep their hands away from the vehicle controls. “The tales of back-seat drivers and in-car arguments we’re all so familiar with cause stress and destruction,” warns Alley Ants head honcho John Doe. So storytelling passengers are an absolute no-no.
Researchers found that drivers are at their happiest when alone in their cars. Having other people around, as French philosopher John Paul Sartrer once famously observed, raises blood pressure, tensions and Von Clayderman’s In-Car Stress Index, along with the chances of both headaches and RTAs.
If there’s one thing worse than partners, it’s children.
If there are two things worse than partners, they are children and animals.
According to detailed research findings revealed by the Munich-based firm: “The dog and the baby cause distraction: your own kids have top priority, even in the car. As a parent, you always react to certain behaviour or signals from your children. The resultant control glances contribute to distraction.”
Other hazards cited by the study include:“anticipation of the play-offs on TV”, “existential distress” (see JPS above), illness and prosecution. If you think you may be affected by any of these factors, probably best to phone in your excuses and stay at home that day rather than putting other road users at risk.
Worth bearing in mind if you are a work-shy and/or socially responsible fan of Derby or QPR (see item 1 on list above) or of Cardiff, Fulham or Norwich (see item 2).
I said we should have turned left at Lashkar Gah
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