Just as England captain Steven Gerrard is keeping quiet about getting knocked out of the World Cup – and various other matters, allegedly – so his now-flagless compatriots are omitting to mention having smashed up stationary vehicles.

One in five of us would not own up if we hit a parked car, claims elephant.co.uk – but interestingly the likelihood of coming clean varies significantly depending on the make and model of the damaged vehicle. If you drive a Golf GTi, you stand just a 1% chance of finding a note from the person who pranged you in absentia.

Almost half of those surveyed by elephant had had their own car hit while parked, but only 15% of these were contacted by the guilty party. So perhaps it’s all just a vicious cycle of perpetual payback.

Women are fractionally more honest than men – but we knew that. Londoners and the Welsh are least likely to own up; and Scots are the most honest – or maybe they all know each other in those remote northern glens, so there’s no point trying to get away with it.

Elephant.co.uk’s Brain Martian said: “You have to ask yourself how would you feel if someone did that to you?” Bankstone will definitely do that at some point – but we’re just a bit busy at the moment.


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