Bankstone News was just settling down, with some pleasantly over-ripe Stilton, a half-dozen Carr’s and a rather magnificent old claret, to enjoy the unrivaled televisual highlight of the week, when, to our utter horror, our favourite Uvavu ads were rudely interrupted by a fetid little ‘costume drama’ by the name (we think) of Downturn Abbey.

Why oh why, would ITV even think of ruining the one luxuriously self-indulgent moment of audiovisual enjoyment to which Bankstone News had been looking forward throughout the emotionally deprived tedium of the business week, with this absurd confection of lifeless toffs and implausibly unruly domestics?

The grittily gripping drama of Gary and his unfortunate motorcycle mishap, ended up being delivered in staccato snippets squeezed between the stultifying longeurs of a Jack Vettriano daub brought (partially) to life in the form of a farcically stilted acting-out of the sick fantasy life of some preposterous bufoon by the name of Fellowes.

How can ITV possibly justify interrupting an important drama, which performs a vital public information service by highlighting the fact that – contrary to received wisdom – insurers do occasionally pay claims, with an endless series of dismal aristoporn tableaux?

Bankstone News is frankly incensed and has literally bombarded Ofcom with letters of complaint (wrapped around bricks for enhanced ballistic performance).

Heads will roll!


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