In what may be the first ever recorded instance of a human being exceeding the speed limit whilst neither driving nor riding a vehicle of one kind or another, a Swiss man, Boris Maier, 38, has been caught on film traveling at 107kph (67mph) in an 80kph zone, on his arse.

Based on photographic evidence in their possession, Bern police suspect that Maier, who incurred no serious injury as a consequence of his lawbreaking exploits, had been aboard a motorcycle shortly previously, but had become separated from the machine in question as a consequence of rapid deceleration prompted by his sudden apprehension of the presence of the very speed camera through whose lens his image would ultimately be captured. This remains unproved, however.

“Boris is a very lucky man,” opined a police spokesman, “if he had been travelling 3kph faster he would have lost his licence.”

A number of witnesses reported having seen a friesian cow behaving in a suspicious manner in the immediate vicinity immediately prior to and after the incident, but local animals deny any involvement.


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