Doc Doc Doc Doc Doctor Whiplash, Gloria Estebankstone should really be singing by way of introducing the following article, which provides a characteristically slipshod and misapprehended summary of something we found on popular right-minded bikini-body pictorials site www.dailymail.co.uk (although she’ll have to somehow elide the two-syllables of whiplash to make it fit – she’s a professional – she can do it).
Somewhere in between lasciviously-documented coverage of how “fitness guru Jennifer Nicole Lee narrowly dodged a wardrobe malfunction in a tight cherry bikini” that “struggled to comfortably withhold all of her assets” and how Italian housewives have banned their husbands from visiting a cafe “where busty barmaid serves up drinks in skimpy outfits” (with Laura Maggi, 34, depicted in no fewer than 10 different virtually non-existent outfits to prove the point) – stories, we should stress, that detained Bankstone News’ researchers no more than a few fleeting seconds – we learned that HMG plans to bring in a crack team of superdocs specially trained to sniff out whiplash fakers and save us all (particularly those of us who happen to be motor insurers) a packet!
Following his top-level personal injury claims summit last week (see separate story), the Mail reveals, David Cameron intends to create a cadre of “whiplash injury experts” who will “weed out bogus claims” and – just to make sure they don’t have too big a workload to contend with – to simply outlaw “all whiplash claims in accidents at speeds of under 10mph.”
“Insurers,” the Mail reports, “say whiplash claims cost them £2 billion,” forcing them to add £90 to the average car insurance premium. The paper reveals that high on the Government’s agenda are plans to “root out bogus claims early by forcing all cases to be examined by medical experts, already dubbed ‘Dr Whiplashes’.”
Justine Greebling will apparently be putting forward detailed proposals on the whiplash crack team doc squad by the end of March. So watch this space!
Is it doing anything yet?
How the Mail reported Jennifer Nicole Lee’s arse this week (note the unslightly wicker chair impressions clearly visible – if you look closely)