It is a well known fact that, if you placed an infinite number of monkeybikes somewhere in the North East of England, sooner or later a group of humans would come along and ride a dozen or more of them round a selection of Yorkshire’s finest historical monuments dressed as medieval dudes in aid of life-saving charity Yorkshire Air Ambulance (YAA). Weirdly, enough Bankstone News is in a position to confirm that something almost exactly similar will be happening this very summer (assuming there is one) over the weekend of July 7-8 2012. What, you’ve heard this before? Oh, OK – but wait – you won’t have heard this bit:

With less than 30 days and 30 nights to go before Bankstone and its merry band of Medieval Monkeys hit the scenic byways of Yorkshireshire, and with the excitement-o-metre hovering on the very brink of its maximum ‘fever-pitch’ reading, we have a veritable smorgasbord of tasty last-minute info-snippets to help you while away a few more of the tedious minutes stretching out ahead of you before you can get on with doing whatever it is you’re planning on doing later. But why press straight on with that when there’s an opportunity to further inflate the word-count with a leisurely reflective preamble!

Phew! What a summer this is shaping up to be. The Diamond Jubilee. Euro 2012. The Olympics. And, of course, Medieval Monkeys. All so different, and yet so nearly identical in a certain light (note to self: really must get round to re-lamping the event-discrimination section of my mental chambers). There’s exciting news this week regarding the most exciting of the above mentioned exciting events. And that news is this:

Top bloke Gary Coates, being sadly unavailable for this year’s event, is selling the bike he rode so capably (and carefully) in Medieval Monkeys 2011. Yes, in an act of unparalleled self-sacrifice GC has agreed to offer his pride and joy (a fully run-in 125cc Gorilla in a state of near-pristine good repair – see photo below) for sale to anyone wishing to ride out with the Medieval Monkeyboys this year for infinitesimal financial consideration of just £499.99 inlcuding delivery to the starting line at Bankstone’s Brighouse HQ.

Alternatively, if you never could stand that Gary Coates and wouldn’t want to touch anything he’s sat on with an extra long barge pole, bike dealership Easy Rider are generously offering new monkey bikes at just £580 each. This price includes 12 months road tax, free delivery to Brighouse and mechanical support on the day. Please contact Cyril Chell on 01785 251975 for details. Time permitting pre-event, the price will also include branding the bike in your corporate livery. Imagine how cool that will look in the foyer of your office!

Meanwhile Nicky Massen from the Yorkshire Air Ambulance has been in contact with the owners of exclusive Saturday teatime stop-off Sheriff Hutton Castle to confirm arrangements for landing one of the YAA choppers there to blow the sandwich scraps and cupcake crumbs right off the paper plates of those assembled to support the event. Further details to follow shortly.

If you haven’t already confirmed your involvement in this year’s event, then you’d jolly well better get on and do so! Imagine the chagrin of missing out (sad face). And remember: medieval attire is obligatory. The dashing Duke of Jones, who cut such a head-turningly knightly figure at last year’s event has generously revealed the identity of his tailor: Now you too can get the Knights Teutonic look. So now!


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