Regular readers of Bankstone News will doubtless recall how in last week’s story concerning the Insurance Injurance karting event at Daytoner Milton Kindness, we posed you a puzzle. With a coveted lifetime’s subscription to Bankstone News as the prize, we challenged readers guess to which of the companies mentioned in our report the accompanying image elliptically alluded.
To recap briefly those organisations were: PSUCK, Lamp, Sagicore, NCI Insurance, Key Choice, Copart, Bankstone, Driver Cyst, Ace Group, Group Armagh, Sleasycall, and Glass Olutions.
First to spot that our impressively hi-res version of John Constable’s The Haywain was a cryptic reference to Copart was Jerry Dalton of Strobes Ingliss Norton, who wins a lifetime’s subscription – absolutely free of charge – unless you count a lifetime’s pestering calls asking whether Bankstone can offer Strobes Ingliss Norton a professional outsourced claims service – along with our hearty congratulations.
We also had a number of sadly incorrect guesses, including one particularly thoughtful and original suggestion from Steve Chelton of Swinton fame, whose submission so impressed us that we have decided to award a second a lifetime’s sub to him (same caveats apply, clearly) and to reproduce his losing entry here:
“In response to the reader comp in this week’s magnificent BN, I have carefully studied the majestic piece of artwork depicted and believe I may have solved the riddle.
In perhaps his most famous landscape painting, Constable depicts a typical driver of the time (c.1820) struggling with one of the more tricky sections at East Anglia’s notoriously challenging Flatford Cart Track.
Whether from over excitement or sheer recklessness, the driver appears to have lost control of his vehicle and ended up in the murky lake lurking alongside a tricky right hand bend.
The striking resemblance borne by Constable’s driver to a prominent motor claims industry personality whose initials, correspond with those of Milton Keynes, home of the recent karting event featured in your report, whilst poetically apt, is, I suspect, a red herring.
The key to this riddle, in my opinion, is a conversation traditionally held to have taken place between the driver and his passenger. A conversation, which I believe must have gone something like this…
The passenger, who has doubtless already turned off his mobile phone in anticipation of the myriad of incoming calls about to ensue, enquires of the suspiciously MK-like driver as to the cause of his inept performance. MK (let us call him that for now) responds sharply to this impertinent enquiry in a tense high-pitched cockney accent: ‘I was doin’ awright mate, but just as I hit that tight right hander, I shifted in my seat, my cheeks squeezed together, and I felt a searin’ pain right up through me torso. It was all I could do to keep the cart upright!’
“What,” asks the passenger, with obvious concern, “you don’t mean…” “Fraid so, mate”, says the driver miserably, “It’s a nasty case of Driver Cyst!”
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