It’s a hard life being a high ranking specialist outsourced claims handling professional these days. Spare a thought – Bankstone News certainly does – for people like Bankstone top cheeses Dickie Tyson and Andy Cojones who find themselves constantly obliged to spend virtually every minute of virtually every day attending tiresome industry shindigs – much against their will and better judgement, of course.

Coming up in the near future, for example, they may well have to attend an Insurance Institute of Manchester event on 24 October at which they will hear all about the Supreme Court’s decision on EL Trigger and hear temptingly named Will Kintish will deliver a lecture on The 10 Deadly Sins of Naughty Networkers in which he shares his expert views on “where people don’t necessarily get it right when at business networking events”.

Then there’s the inauspiciously titled Personal Injury Awards 2012 on 14 November at the Park Plaza Riverbank on London’s Albert Embankment (could be chilly at this time of year) where the duo will be guests of the lovely Thorneycrofts Solicitors.

And then on January 25 there’s the implausibly titled I Love Claims Networking Lunch to attend at London’s Grand Connaught Rooms. Where they will have to endure, as celebrity speaker, the endlessly loathsome Chris Moyles.* The organisers of this event claim it “will provide you with some great entertainment and a years’ worth of networking in just one day for only £185+vat”. How Bankstone’s top dogs must wish that even the latter part of that promise were true.

Plus, of course, Tyson will have to drag himself along to the Newcastle vs West Brom match on 28th of this month, where he will be proudly wearing his new Appleberry WBA scarf. Did we mention these Appleberry scarfs? They’re very good and there’s a SPECIAL OFFER on them for Bankstone News readers.

So spare a thought is all we’re saying.

*The verb to moyle, incidentally Fact Fans, is an obscure term derived from the Anglo Norman word ‘mouiller’ (meaning to act in a moist or damp fashion) which connotes the oozing of fetid vileness from every sweaty pore. To suggest that Chris moyles, would of course be nonsense in view of all the great work he does for charity, when as recent news events have clearly illustrated, only pure hearted people do this.


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