On a recent trip to Adrian Flux’s manorial King’s Lynn HQ at Eastwick Hall, Bankstone’s Andy Jones drove Bikesure sales and underwriting manager Rob Balls over to the local bike dealership in the Jonesmobile to pick up Mr Balls’ new ride: a Great Escape retro styled Triumph Scrambler (see pic below). Inspired perhaps by Bikesure’s recent mission-saving sponsorship of charity fundraiser Great Escape 2, Mr B certainly looks the part on the classic styled machine – although perhaps pale slacks and a storm blue short-sleeve sweatshirt would have completed the look – but will now have to bear in mind that overtaking manoeuvres safely accomplished on his Triumph Triple may end less well on the more stylish machine. The good news is that the Scrambler stands a significantly better chance of making it over barbed wire security fences than the Triumph TR6 Trophy used by the Virgil Hiltz character in the film.

Meanwhile Bankstone News owes all its readers a grovelling apology for causing numerical confusion last week by sending out a second issue 182 instead of a first issue 183. A sample letter from aggrieved reader Ian Pritchard of Group Armagh (when we last checked) read as follows: “I love numbers.  They literally rule me.  Numbers, numbers, numbers.  It’s all I think about. However, to the my disgust (and to the detriment of my careful filing), this week’s Bankstone News came numbered as edition 182 – the same as last week! What next: 2+2=5?!  Dial 666 for emergency services and to hell with Beelzebub?! Insoluble Sudoku? Any more such errors and I may be forced to find an alternative source of insurance related satire. One that is correctly numbered.” So to Ian, and all those other distressed number lovers, Bankstone News says – deeply, sincerely and from the bottom of its heart – it was nothing to to with us and entirely somebody else’s fault.

On a happier note we are delighted to announce the winner of last week’s spot the dodgy pair amidst the Man City supporters – no easy task, we’re sure you will agree. The correct answer – should anyone care – was Paul Hinchliffe and Rob Williams. The winning entry – submitted by Swinton’s Steve Chelton – did not detain itself with the trivial business of correctly naming these individuals, but seemed to us a worthy winner none the less. Judge for yourselves:

“Hello Bankstonians, I trust you are all well and that this email catches you before you head down the pub. What can I say? In the anthemic words of that erstwhile King of Cockneyland Tommy Steele, what a picture, what a photograph! You guys have come up trumps again – this picture is clearly a priceless record of an unrepeatable group of A list celebs all in one place at the same time. The celebs, in no particular order are: 1 Robin Williams looking spookily like the Mork character from the 1970s documentary series Mork and Mindy, 2. Tony Blair, sporting large effeminate sunglasses to disguise his identity as he’d ducked out of a family lunch Cherie had organised down the local carvery claiming to be busy on EU duties, 3. in front of TB in the brown jacket is the ghost of legendary TV presenter, charidy fundraiser and all round good guy Jeremy Beadle, still apparently game for a laugh from beyond the grave. 4. Left and front of the ghostly Beadle is former Black Sabbath front man and (alleged) drug wars casualty Ozzy Osbourne, 5. is a sadly faded Richard Fairbrass of Right Said Fred whose shirt appears to have turned the tables on him, last but the very opposite of least we have at 6. in the flat cap behind our beloved multi-millionaire ex-prime minister is none other than the long suffering husband of Olive in TV’s other top documentary of the 60s and 70s On The Buses. Yes, it’s Arthur Rudge! I thank you and look forward to receiving my luxurious Appleberry scarf in the illustrious colours of my beloved Blackburn Rovers.”

Congratulations, Steve – your highly desirable Appleberry scarf is on its way to you in a brown paper bag – couldn’t find a stamp, though, so you might have some postage to pay.

So there you have it, Dear Readers, another busy week at the Bankstone News offices comes to a pleasingly early end – and the prospect of a noon til midnight session down the Badgers beckons. Have a good one y’all!


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