There’s a storm a-coming, predicts Johan van der Meerkat of telematics insurer Coveryourbox. By the time, it hits these shores a couple of months from now, it looks set to have become the ‘perfect storm’.

A perfect storm, for anyone who didn’t see the movie, is when everything that can go wrong does go wrong and anyone who gets in its way is basically up the proverbial ship creek without a whisker of a cat’s prayer in a frozen-over hell type of thing.

“The mayhem will kick off in March,” van der Meerkat claims, when literally thousands of women rush out to buy small hatchbacks and convertibles at bargain basement prices. This will inevitably trigger a tsunami of fury over insurers’ EU-enforced attempts to make them pay the same as men for their car insurance.

Mayhem, for anyone not from Glasgow, refers either to the willful maiming or crippling of one or more persons or to a general state of violent disorder. By freakish coincidence, lady drivers will all be seeking new annual insurance deals on their hatchbacks and convertibles at precisely the same moment when the EU Gander Directive will been around for a couple of months having rather less effect than predicted. This fatal combination of factors looks set to trigger motor market carnage on a previously unimaginable scale.

Hell hath no fury – to paraphrase slightly – like a bunch of women forced to pay more for their car insurance – and there’s really no telling how bad things could get. The nightmare scenario conjured up by Coveryourbox’s van der Meerkat is that these irate females will succumb en masse to the sinister allure of spy-in-the-cab insurers who seek to reel them in with their siren call of ‘lower premiums for careful drivers’.

Insurers who cling to the traditional ‘blind’ insurance model – where you pool everyone in together to offer affordable premiums to all – had better prepare themselves for the coming meteorogical cataclysm, van der Meerkat warns. It’s going to be sudden and it’s going to be brutal. And then, when the storm winds subside, we’ll be one giant leap closer to a Big Brother world of insurables and uninsurables.

Don’t say you haven’t been warned!


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