It’s official: former mop-top child-idol Justin ‘Baby, Baby’ Bieber is an arrogant disrespectful swine who chuckles and sneers as he shatters kiddies’ dreams. The British press are suddenly eager to thrust anyone with a bad word to say about the insolent pup into the limelight, there to fulminate at their leisure over the Biebster’s heartless contempt for his tiny fans’ feelings.

If you think Bankstone News would be above such things (as you probably would), then, think again. Picture, if you will, the bitter, heart-wrenching disappointment experienced by Bankstone heiress and occasional Bankstone News reporter Maddy Tysoe when she travelled especially to the Nottingham Arena last Saturday expecting to see Eric “Biba” Gallbreath talking TOBAs, online distribution challenges and suchlike – only to find she’d accidentally attended to a ‘pop concert’.

“I’ve been into Eric since the early days and I couldn’t wait to see him him in the flesh,” she may or may not have have told Bankstone News. “I can’t believe I queued for hours just to get in and then stood around for several hours more supping overpriced non-alcoholic drinks from a cardboard cup – only to see some callow youth skip about a bit and make some squeaky noises. I will never forgive Biba for allowing me to fall victim to this cruel deception. ABI would never behave like this!”


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