Like the frisky bullocks grazing on the slopes of nearby beauty spot Bankstone Peak, or that lecherous three-legged dog that so tirelessly assaults the lower limbs of hapless drinkers down the Badgerbaiters Arms, preparations for this year’s Medieval Monkeys charity fundraising weekend combine mounting excitement with a considerable element of confusion.

Seemingly labouring under the misapprehension that MM2013 is some kind of covert military expedition, mission leader Cmdr Dickie Tysoe is refusing to divulge operational details that might play into the hands of rival monkey bike gangs until the last possible minute. Bankstone News understands that a full itinerary may yet be available as soon as next week – including confirmation of where the riders and support crews will be spending the night on Saturday 29 June mid-way through the epic historically themed charity fundraising miniature motorcycle odyssey. But don’t hold your breath.

One thing we do know is that the cavalcade will be stopping in 10 or so medieval relic type locations around the great county of Yorkshiremanshire, with frequent stops for bacon butties, mechanical failures, comfort breaks and other mysteriously non-specific ad hoc purposes – possibly related to navigational uncertainty.

A particular highlight is sure to be the stop at privately owned scenic ruin Sheriff Hutton Castle, whose inhabitants have once again invited Bankstone and friends to call in for light refreshments, parking, turf despoilage and general milling about.

There will be a stand manned by representatives of beneficiary charity Yorkshire Air Ambulance – but no ‘air ambience’ helicopter this year – as they have perversely decided that saving lives should take precedence over attending studly home tea parties.

There will, however, be some kind of historical re-enactment taking place while the Bankstoners are on site. Details of what precisely is being re-enacted, or indeed when and by whom it was previously enacted, were unavailable at the time of going to press, but Cmdr Tysoe will no doubt be hoping it has something to do with Richard III, about whom he harbours reincarnation fantasies.

In other Sheriff Hutton news, Bankstone News is delighted to report that the local art group has celebrated its 50th birthday by producing a giant picture of the ruined castle in the style of David Hockney (a famous local artist – imagine a cross between Elton John and Tony Hart), which is currently touring galleries around Yorkshire and recently took pride of place at the The Easingwold Art Exhibitors Group’s Galtres Centre.

Watch this space for full MM2013 details in the very near future.


Image not to scale


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