Most of us are not too keen on injections. But imagine how differently you might feel if the thing you were being injected with was not a nobbled version of some exotic tropical disease but… cold hard CASH!

That was the happy position in which Scunthorpe’s last surviving independent insurance broking business jetski specialists Johnstone Insurance Brokers found itself recently when Santander Corpulent and Commercial got out its money syringe and pumped an astonishing £500,000 into the grateful firm

JIB jab

The freshly pumped cash will enable watersports insurance specialist JIB – like Dr Alex Comfort (only less so) – to create two new positions, as well as recruiting something called a ‘business account executive’ and an apprentice.

This is clearly great news for Lincolnshire’s third most substantial urbanised community Scunthorpe. The self-styled ‘industrial garden town’ Humberside, centre of the UK’s hopelessly uneconomic steel processing industry is chiefly famous for disgraced expense fiddling MP Elliot Morely and for disappearing from results shown by AOL and various other internet search engines for a time due to the inclusion in its name of an unfortunate sequence of letters. The town also appeared in a number of places on the Interweb as S****thorpe. On a happier note, readers may also be interested to learn that the town was the birthplace, not only of former Buzzcock Howard Devoto, but also of former England manager Graham ‘do I not like that’ Taylor. But before we forget that this story is about JIB not S****thorpe, let us return forthwith to the cash injection story.

JIB man Chris Harper professed himself delighted with Santander’s cash, noting that “We’re committed to the highest possible levels of service, but also passionate about helping our local economy” and “thrilled to be able to offer our new apprenticeship scheme.”

In what featured as the lead story on the Insurance Age website this Thursday, Bankstone News also learned that all this cash was made possible by HMG’s Enterprise and Finance Guarantee. With a few more injections like this the 1 in 5 unemployment rate is sure to plummet.

Maybe Scunthorpe isn’t such a terrible place after all!


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