There are more cars than ever before on Britain’s roads. But it’s not all good news…

The motorways, avenues, lanes and lay-bys of this great land now boast around one and half million each of Fiestas and Foci, and more than a million Corsas and Astras. Plus some others as well.

How do we know this? We know this from looking at the UK car parc, which – perhaps surprisingly given that this is Bankstone News – is not a spelling erorr but stands for Precise Amount of Road Cars (or something).

A fascinating press release from Smut (the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders) announced this week that the total number of cars in our national car parc increased by 1.3% last year, a record leap for the twenty-tens to date, bringing the grand total to just a tad short of 32 million vehicles.

Last year’s 436,000 unit increase in UK traffic congestion was down, Smut say, to a combination of some people buying new cars and some other people’s cars falling apart a bit slower because they are not as rubbish as older cars.

The average car on Britain’s roads is now a staggeringly ancient 7.7 years old. But, shockingly, only one fifth of cars purchased in the UK were built by the honest toil of trusty British mits, whilst almost as many were humourlessly assembled by grim-faced Teutonic automata.

Among the traitors turning their backs on decent Brit-built motors are YouKip leader Nigel Farrago who drives a Vulvo and some other people you can look up on the internet if you like, because we certainly can’t be bothered. You see them all the time though.

Why, oh, why, Bankstone News would jolly well like to know, would anyone buy some flimsy “low-concept” crate flung together by wine-soaked French communists or donkey-beating Spanish idlers, when there’s great British marques like Nissan, Toyota and Honda they could be supporting – not to mention true Brit stalwarts like LandRover and Mini?

Even patriotically-coloured cars are going out of style, it seems, with red and blue heading for the exit and black and grey replacing them. What is this country coming to?!



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