As regular participants will doubtless recall, the traditional first-weekend-in-July dates for Bankstone’s annual charity monkeybike ride would logically fall this time round on the weekend of the 5th and 6th July.
This year, however, these dates clash with one or two minor fixtures in the sporting calendar including such trifles as the BLT Wimbledon Tennisball Finals, the British Grom Pree at Silverstone, the World Cup Quarterfinals (assuming anyone’s still interested so long after England’s early departure), etc. etc.
One other complicating factor is that the highways and byways of God’s Own County – along which Bankstone and friends would otherwise be aiming to progress in stately if informal (semi)-motorised procession – will be awash with thronging hordes of pedal bikers here for the Yorkshire leg of the Torda France.
So frankly, that’s that weekend, royally b*ggered up.
Instead, in a shock move that has taken the UK’s insurance monkey biking community almost literally by surprise, monkey chief Dickon Taoiseach has moved the event to a date – yet to be confirmed (not that it’s a secret or anything) – in September, by which time the sporting calendar should have calmed down a bit and there’ll be a decent chance of cooler wetter weather.
For all those who would like to take part, we are delighted to be able to reveal that Bankstone has negotiated a special rate of just “from £595.00″ plus VAT plus registration plus plus plus for the classic groin-pummelling 125cc monkey bike – for those not already possessed of such a thing.
For the more fancily inclined, suped-up “not really monkey bikes” with engines of anything up to 848cc are also available at a non-exorbitant premium. Whilst, for those of a practical and/or ladylike bent, shopping versions with ample panniers and (possibly) tartan seats, such as that favoured by event stalwart Mike MacMillan, may also be procured at by no means unattractive rates.
If you fancy getting your metal steed branded up in your very own corporate livery, this too can be achieved for a small additional fee – all ready for you to collect at the starting line in Brighouse on the mournfully misty September Saturday morning of departure.
The liveried option – assuming you don’t total the thing along the way in the style of Richard Neve of Premex – will then allow you to clutter up your gleaming steel and glass reception area with a funny little bike on which your logo will be somewhere just discernible – and generally to benefit from a virtually limitless range of on-road corporate brand dissemination opportunities.
Rider places on this year’s ride of a lifetime are of course strictly limited, so be sure to contact Mr Typo at your earliest opportunity to avoid disappointment.
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