It’s easy to see how experiences like skinny dipping with Narge Farge or quite literally rubbing shoulders with Donald J. Thump might turn a boy’s head, but the world of insurance can ill afford to lose one of its leadingest of leading lights to the cruel and cynical world of national politics.

Who are we talking about? Why, Arron F.A. Banks, of course, a man so quintessentially British he was (very nearly) named after a Scottish Island, and who, as main man of kangaroo-themed car, van, bike and home insurer Go Skipping, is a key insurance move-and-shaker.

On hearing last week that AFAB had severed his ties with UKIP, the political party he almost single-handedly bankrolled to a narrow but decisive victory in the recent Will of the People Euro play-offs, Bankstone News was briefly buoyed by the hope that Question Time’s loss might be motor insurance’s gain.

Such hopes were quickly dashed, however, when the Bankster announced to the national press that he intends to set up a new political party called, apparently, “Ukip 2.0, the Force Awakens”.

Whether Mr Bank’s erstwhile naked bathing partner NF will be coming over to join him at #UKIP2TFA or sticking around to see off UKIP1’s turbulent ‘renegade MP’ Dougie Carswell remains unclear.

We looked at AFAB’s Brickbat-style online news thing Westmonster to see if that would tell us. But it didn’t – only that McDonalds and the State of Hawaii have taken gratuitous pops at political outsider Donald J. Tramp, who ‘continues to face opposition from entrenched establishment interests in the media and the judiciary’ and that we should buy some insurance from Go Skipping.

With his strong connections in New York, Washington and Palm Beach (i.e. with the man whose golden touch is currently creating greatness by the bucketload across the pond), and a proven ability to perform at the highest level on politically-themed TV and radio discussion programmes, it’s easy to see why AB might be tempted to pursue the path of public life.

But before you do anything rash or irreversible, Mr Banks, please think again! Don’t go over to the Darkside. Insurance needs you. Kangaroo-themed insurance in particular needs you. It wouldn’t be the same without your Herbert-Lom-like presence round these parts, and it’s scant consolation watching from afar as your shiny star scuds brightly across the rarified political firmament.

Just this once, we beg you, please don’t LEAVE.


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