Question: the chief exec of which major UK insurance company secretly hungers for the loins of 80s cartoon cat-suit-clad action crumpet Cheetara? No good asking Bankstone News, of course. As usual we have no idea – and couldn’t possibly tell you, even if we had.

Question 2: how has this tantalisingly incomplete snippet of industry gossip come to our attention? Well, since you ask, we recently ran into a well-known broker with an entertainingly idiosyncratic way of breaking the ice at insurance industry events.

Should you ever encounter said broker at some such gathering, he’ll probably ask you which cartoon character you would most like to shag.

Aside from the psychological insight and the conversational titillation it provides, the genius of this gambit lies in the fact that it works equally well with those attracted to females, those attracted to males, those attracted to animals, and, basically, anyone in between.

For any readers not already familiar with Cheetara and her oeuvre (are you dead from the waist down?), she featured amongst the ranks of TV’s ThunderCats alongside the equally imaginatively named Lion-O, Panthro and Tygra.

Along with Catwoman, Eartha Kitten, and Cat Deeley, Cheetara has gone down in the annals as one of the most exotically alluring feline females of all time, so who can argue with the nameless insurance top dog’s bizarre and unhealthy obsession?!

Now Bankstone News is eager to know with which cartoon character you are eager to engage in sexual congress. Answers please by email to – and you’re not allowed to say Jessica Rabbit (too obvious, apparently). Full results, analysis and rankings will be published in a future edition of Bankstone News, possibly.


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