Controversy has long raged as to whether one can justly claim – were it not sexist to do so – either that men are better drivers than women or women worse than men.

Male scorn at the ladies’ attempts to do complicated stuff like parallel parking is a staple of the internet. RTA footage on YouTube frequently features bantering laddish viewer comments such as ‘get back in the kitchen, luv’ and ‘stupid bitch deserves to be raped and killed!’

But new statistics compiled by CFC Solutions, the people behind Licence Link licence-checking software throw some fascinating new light on this long running, if generally rather one-sided, debate.

Men, it seems, have six times as many points on their licenses as women (and that’s not counting all the ones their partners take the hit for). Men have an average 0.579 points and women 0.095.

Medical experts claim it is perfectly safe for men to have up to three points a year as long as they drive responsibly, but that women, with their smaller frames and inferior ability to see over steering wheels, reach pedals etc, are well advised to be more abstemious.

CFC, who flog licence-checking software to fleet managers, claim the sex divide is even more marked among fleet drivers. ‘Women drivers are generally held to be involved in fewer road incidents than men,’ said somebody from CFC, whose name is not important.

“However,” he continues with a limp rhetorical flourish, “the difference among the company car and van drivers seen in our sample is even more exaggerated than among the public at large. Male drivers do appear to represent a much more significant risk management issue for employers.”

The conclusion seems glaringly obvious: fleet managers keen to reduce their insurance costs should sack all male drivers at once and employ only women instead. They could be like a cross between the angel pilots in Captain Scarlet and WRENs or WRAFs or WAGs or whatever.

This would have the happy side effect of affording former male employees greater leisure to practice their wit on the web.


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