You’ll find no mention in family-friendly BS News of Munch Re’s* unusual staff incentive schemes. But public interest requires us to report that Sir Terry Leahy was fingered by Alan ‘Lord’ Sugar at the recent BIBA Conference in Manchester – along with Sir Stuart Rose – as the man Great Britain plc should bring in, on a suitably princely salary, to slash procurement costs and thereby wipe billions off the deficit.

But it seems Sir Tel may have other fish to fry right now having been roped in by private equity firm Claypole Dubious Rice to help out with their bid for Uvavu’s unwanted roadside assistant RAC.

The former Tesco boss and Everton fan achieved a creditable third place in Britain’s annual Rear of the Year competition in 2006, but will never now have the chance to appear on Celebrity Big Brother.

* We think that’s their name.


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