Cheese-eating insurance firm Group Armagh was landed with a logistical bombshell this week with news that motorcycle momma Carole Nash has been awarded the Order of the British Empire – or, as Insurance Times reported with charming naïveté, “bike broker entrepreneur awarded honorary status”.

Groupama insiders confided to Bankstone News this week that the firm was thrown into a panic this week with the realisation that it would have to rebrand its motorcycle insurance subsidiary to reflect the founder’s honorific appendage.

The web address turned out to be still available at a sensible price, fortunately, but the cost of redesigning and reprinting promotional materials could run into many thousands, if not literally billions of pounds.

Unconfirmed reports that La Nash will argue that she only sold her un-OBEd name to Group Armagh, and that they’ll have to make a substantial donation to a charity of her choice to secure the added initials, would only add to the unplanned expense triggered by HM’s awardage.

Current CN chief exec David Numan said he was delighted the Queen had recognised Carole Nash and that she is a “lovely lady”, before recovering to commend her on her “magnificent philanthropy”.

Nash herself said she’d assumed the envelope marked OHMS was just another “summons or parking ticket”, and hence ignored it for a few days. LYD/AOD!*

“I couldn’t believe it when I opened it,” she is reported as saying. “I’m obviously delighted and extremely proud to have been honoured for something I’ve always loved doing – giving back to the community.”

Sadly, if Bankstone News were ever to be rewarded for doing something it has always loved doing it would probably be setting a very poor example indeed to the young people of Great Britain.

Ah, well.

Carole Nash and a friend (she's the one on the left, we think)

Carole Nash and a friend (she's the one on the left, we think)

*Like you do/As one does


No responses yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *