As regular participants will be only too well aware, Bankstone’s weekend-long tour of Yorkshire by monkey bike for charity (Medieval Monkeys) has been in the habit for a number of years now of stopping off in the charmingly run-down Victorian North Sea resort of Scarborough at the end of day one in order to eat curry, drink beer, hang around listlessly in clubs and bars, sleep/pass out etc.

Brace yourselves for some disturbing news! This will not be happening this year. It’s not that we’ve been banned or anything. They take all sorts in Scarborough. It’s simply that the town is hosting its annual Armed Forces Day on 29 June and – such is the fervour for militaristic display of all kinds along the UK’s North Eastern Littoral – it seems there is no room to be had at any of Scarborough’s many inns (however shabby) for us and our tiny motorcycles. This leaves us with the daunting task of finding somewhere less popular than Scarborough to hole up overnight.

Needless to say, Bankstone has taken its top people off making tea and fetching increasingly implausible orders from the local sandwich shop to work full-time on what we experts in the art of planning like to refer to informally as “Plan B”. Current contenders for Saturday Night Stopover Substitute include Whitby, Bridlington and “even Filey”. If you have a better suggestion of your own, please email [email protected] and we will be happy to file it away somewhere.

A further announcement will be made as soon as we have completed work on “Plan B”.

In other Monkey news, we are delighted to announce that we received an overwhelming response to last week’s offer of fully branded monkey bikes for just a few hundred quid. Bikesure are taking delivery of two brand spanking new monkeys in their handsome corporate livery and – with excitement reaching officially verified fever pitch – staff members there are reported to be literally fighting one another for the honour of riding these magnificent machines come 29/30 June 2013.

Feeling just a tiny bit envious, perhaps? Then don’t hold back: throw yourself into the good-cause-serving two-day thrill fest that is Medieval Monkeys without delay. See previous issues for full details. Terms and conditions apply. Human beings only. Actual monkeys not eligible. Sorry.


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