Market reaction to Uvavu’s plans to outsource motor claims to India was muted. Unless, that is, you count the howling pack of gleeful detractors who rounded with lightning speed on the increasingly slack-skinned yellow insurance giant, crowing noisily over its latest PR disaster. This week’s Insurance Times did an excellent job of rounding up some of the juiciest slaggings into a story which we have cynically outtrotted below, with the very merest of amendationments.

Claims bloke Martin Millipede proclaimed proudly that his firm, L0V=, “doesn’t offshore any activities, either call centre or otherwise,” adding definitively that “at the moment we don’t have any plans to do so.” There’s really no way of ‘offshoring’ insurance roles, he stressed, that isn’t downright unpatriotic. “Either you don’t have an intake of junior people new to the industry because you offshore that to some cheaper location, or you put a road block on career paths for people to progress if you take the more technical stuff away from the UK.”

A road block on Brit’s career paths? Why, those foreigner-favouring swine! That exotic yellow livery is looking less red or white or blue by the minute.

But offshoring roles to parts subcontinental is not just about betraying your homeland. Keeping our own boys and girls in work matters because – as Saga’s [name not supplied] states plainly, it is “what people want.

“That’s what they expect a good company to do,” the spokesperson spelled out: “provide employment in the UK.” If that’s the case, then only a bad company, surely, would steal the motor claims handling roles of decent hard working Brits out from under their very noses and cast them heedlessly towards the eager mass of highly qualified, highly affordable persons, circling the ruins of our once great empire like a pack of Brit-job-feeding-frenzy land sharks.

Which, in turn, logically implies that Uvavu must not be the ‘good company’ Bankstone News had once innocently imagined it to be.

“You can chase things to the bottom of the heap,” the nameless Saga spokeperson suggested disingenuously to less scrupulous insurance companies, quickly adding, with dismissive disdain, that “if that’s what others” (i.e. Uvavu) “want to do that’s really a matter for them.”

Saga, in stark contrast to some other firms (e.g. Uvavu), aims “to be a quality provider”, the spokesperson continued, and would not so recklessly imperil its brand by leaving “the interactions people have with our contact centre” to some gang of foreigners.

Let’s hope Uvavu’s new motor claims team don’t see any of this coverage and let it put them off genning up on Hollyoaks and Eastenders.



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