Chink. Chink. Chink. What IS that ominously repetitive sound?

Why, it’s the spurs on the authentic western boots worn by Martin “Wyatt” Wheatley, incoming sheriff of Regulation City, as he strides out onto the stage at the ABI’s “Way out West Conduct Regulation” Conference in London this week.

“Listen up, Folks, and listen good,” Wheatley spat out (his words the immediate precursors to a hefty wad of well-chewed tobacco) as the piano player stopped abruptly, someone dropped a whiskey glass, and the assembled delegates froze in their seats in nervous expectation: “Thar’s gonna be a few changes round here.”

Introducing what Insurance Times described as a “super aggressive” new approach, Wyatt Wheatley, his trigger finger restlessly flexing by his side, said he planned to “shoot first and ask questions later” (yes, he actually did say that bit).

So the days when the toothless FSA posse stood by peaceably and watched as insurance firms rode roughshod up and down Main Street Insuranceville over both the letter and the spirit of the regulatory writ will soon be dead and buried.

Once he’s in town to stay, if Wyatt Wheatley doesn’t like the look of your insurance product – he’ll ban it on the spot – not wait around collecting “evidence” like those limp-wristed FSA boys! Look at him a bit funny, and you’re likely to be leaving town in your best suit with a wooden box around it.

Hinting darkly at “tough new powers”, Dubya Dubya warned insurance people to “not even think” about mis-selling anything” because he has friends in high places who have given him carte blanche to give mis-sellers hell.

If such tough talk upsets you – best keep it to yourself – lest yours ends up in his book of names.

Super aggression comes to Insuranceville

Super aggression comes to Insuranceville

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