In these social-media plagued times it’s sometimes hard to know whether you are distracting someone else from their work or they are distracting you. It was perfectly plain, however, that when Bikesure’s Simon and Katie descended on the claims firm’s Brighouse HQ for an annual audit of the perfectly well-oiled efficiency engine that is Team Bankstone this week, it was Bankstone’s Dickson Tysleo and Andrew “Jonesmeister” Jones who were attempting to distract the Bikesure Duo by dragging them off on a whistlestop tour of the hotspot fleshpots of lovely Leeds.

After an ill-judged attempt to subject the acrophobic Simon to an aperitif or two in the vertiginous 32nd storey Skylounge bar, and a worse-judged-still subsequent attempt to drag the poor man out onto the viewing platform balcony, which very nearly resulted in a fist-fight according to Jones, the Bankstone Boys then tried making amends by whisking the Bikesurers off to Leed’s 88th best restaurant Wasabi Tepid Yak, a Japanese establishment which is barely inferior at all in actual fact to the city’s alleged 1st best restaurant, the notorious Thai Ho Suk.

Here, it was Jones – with his well documented fear of complicated food – who struggled. Happily, diverted as he was by the establishment’s unusual tradition of allowing – practically encouraging – diners to whack various hot ingredients into holes with spatulas (you had to be there), Jones ended up coping manfully with a spicy array of raw fish and mystery vegetables. The beer and sake flowed, playful banter sparked, and a perfect evening ensued – right up to the point where the Bikesure auditors were wrestled back into the Jonesmobile and subjected to the seemingly interminable haul back to their uninspiring lodgings in dismal old Brighouse.

Still, never mind: someone else’s turn next year, probably.


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